tom

Worst James Bond Photoshop ever

Roger Moore as James Bond and Gloria Hendry as Rosie Carver on the cover of the Live and Let Die Blu-ray

If this Blu-ray cover is legit, someone needs to answer for approving this! Sir Roger can’t be happy about his likeness…

Timothy Dalton as James Bond in The Living Daylights (1987)

Better make that two

The opening sequence for The Living Daylights (1987) is pretty underrated and has it all: a thrilling MI6 training exercise gone wrong and a daring 007 parachute escape from a falling/exploding munitions vehicle. It ends in true James Bond fashion, on a luxury yacht with a damsel (not in distress, mind you) yearning for a “real man.” Lucky for her Bond drops in (literally) and Timothy Dalton’s James Bond delivers his coolest moment, easily a contender for coolest James Bond moment of all time as well.

It’s a shame Dalton only had a chance to portray 007 twice on-screen. Surely one or two more films and he would be more widely considered the best James Bond actor (he is in the upper echelon for me!). That look alongside the champagne glass where you can literally see him decide between work or play and choosing at least a little more play is a perfect intro to a new James Bond and cemented Dalton’s portrayal from the start!

The Living Daylights (1987) - Better make that two

Ladies and gentlemen….Carly Simon

Nobody Does It Better is my favorite James Bond theme of all time…and this performance is top notch!

Me waiting for this awful scene to end

Blow up your pants

The presence of James Bond’s daughter (eyeroll) in No Time To Die (2021) instantly reminded me of this awful, campy scene from Diamonds Are Forever (1971). Kids and James Bond movies do not mix. They instantly suck the energy out of any scene and annoy me as soon as they appear. Not only is it blatantly cringe that the kid is somehow in a Las Vegas casino (I guess they had kid friendly games in the 1970s? Regardless I would never want to bring a child to Las Vegas!), but his interaction with Tiffany Case (Jill St. John) is made even more awful with her line “Blow up your pants!” – a truly terrible one-liner on the Mount Rushmore of all bad James Bond movie one-liners.

Say no to kids in James Bond movies!

Me waiting for this awful scene to end

Me waiting for this awful scene to end

James Bond (George Lazenby) lights up at the beginning of On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)

This never happened to the other fella

The end of the opening sequence of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969) was just brilliant! I’m sure moviegoers were clamoring to see what a “new Bond” would bring and the fact that they decided to break the fourth wall to acknowledge the change is just awesome. I wonder if any theaters erupted in laughter or applause?

James Bond (George Lazenby) lights up at the beginning of On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)

James Bond (George Lazenby) lights up at the beginning of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969)

Jaws (Richard Kiel) in The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

Green Jaws

Jaws (Richard Kiel) in The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

Jaws (Richard Kiel) in The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

Even 90’s rappers are James Bond fans

liltroy
Click me.

Lil’ Troy – Wanna Be A Baller

Matches

What on earth are Jimmy Bond and Leiter doing with the matches in this scene? Is it purposefully coordinated and focused on? Is there some hidden signal? A bizarre spectacle whenever I watch this scene from Casino Royale (TV – 1954).

Casino Royale (TV - 1954) - Matches

Michael Lonsdale as Huge Drax and Roger Moore as James Bond in Moonraker (1979)

Bond Meets Drax

This scene single-handedly elevates Hugo Drax (Michael Lonsdale) one of the best James Bond villains. His ostentatious estate, his delicate Chopin piano-playing, his even-keeled demeanor and monotone voice – yet he exudes extreme power over everyone that he interacts with, even his two doberman pinscher dogs. His lack of ego is offset by his stoic brutality, and his “see that some harm comes to him” line is an ultimate villain quote!

Michael Lonsdale as Huge Drax and Roger Moore as James Bond in Moonraker (1979)

Nice kitty.

Blofeld's cat in You Only Live Twice