skyfall

James Bond (Daniel Craig) runs for his physical fitness test in Skyfall (2012)

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James Bond (Daniel Craig) runs for his physical fitness test in Skyfall (2012)

James Bond (Daniel Craig) performs sit-ups for his physical fitness test in Skyfall (2012)

James Bond (Daniel Craig) performs pull-ups for his physical fitness test in Skyfall (2012)

The Fighting Temeraire tugged to her last berth to be broken up, 1838, an oil painting by the English artist Joseph Mallord William Turner

Skyfall’s “The Fighting Temeraire” Painting

The Fighting Temeraire tugged to her last berth to be broken up, 1838, an oil painting by the English artist Joseph Mallord William Turner

James Bond (Daniel Craig) and Q (Ben Whishaw) meet at the National Gallery in London in front of painting The Fighting Temeraire tugged to her last berth to be broken up, 1838, an oil painting by the English artist Joseph Mallord William Turner in Skyfall (2012)

James Bond (Daniel Craig) and Q (Ben Whishaw) meet at the National Gallery in London in front of painting The Fighting Temeraire tugged to her last berth to be broken up, 1838, an oil painting by the English artist Joseph Mallord William Turner in Skyfall (2012)

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A visually stunning fight sequence from Skyfall (2012)

It’s…beautiful!

A visually stunning fight sequence from Skyfall (2012)

A visually stunning fight sequence from Skyfall (2012)

James Bond (Roger Moore) in Moonraker (1979) admires Roger Deakin's cinematography in Skyfall (2012)

James Bond (Roger Moore) in Moonraker (1979) admires Roger Deakin’s cinematography in Skyfall (2012)

Eve Moneypenny (Naomie Harris) shaves James Bond (Daniel Craig) with a straight razor in Skyfall (2012)

Zero Point Zero

Eve Moneypenny (Naomie Harris) shaves James Bond (Daniel Craig) with a straight razor in Skyfall (2012)

Eve Moneypenny (Naomie Harris) shaves James Bond (Daniel Craig) with a straight razor in Skyfall (2012)

…the amount of sexual tension between Moneypenny and 007 after this tryst in Shanghai in Skyfall (2012).

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James Bond (Daniel Craig) reflects on his life after a night of drinking (don't we all) in Skyfall (2012)

The Hangover

This is a great montage scene of James Bond’s (Daniel Craig) life away from MI6 in Skyfall (2012). It seems fun at first, if not eventful, but we quickly get the feeling that Bond’s escapades ring hollow. I particularly like how there is zero dialogue in the montage, no matter the situation. A tryst with a girl, a lively drinking game (with a weird-looking obviously CGI-ed scorpion on his hand, no less…it couldn’t have been something else? also shout out to Michael G. Wilson’s son Gregg making a cameo) or “the next day” – Bond is alone with his thoughts, and he obviously hates it.

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James Bond (Daniel Craig) runs to find M at the end of Skyfall (2012)

Fire Run

James Bond (Daniel Craig) runs to find M at the end of Skyfall (2012)

James Bond (Daniel Craig) runs to find M at the end of Skyfall (2012)

Daniel Craig needed a shave and a shower as a hungover mess in Skyfall (2012)

James Bond is a Dork

Here are the dorkiest moments of each Bond actor’s career:

Sean Connery tries to pull of the pink tie in Diamonds Are Forever (1971)...and fails.

Sean Connery tries to pull of the pink tie in Diamonds Are Forever (1971)…and fails. DORK!

George Lazenby's Scottish get-up in On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969) screamed "dork."

George Lazenby’s Scottish get-up in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969) screamed “dork.”

Roger Moore's clown costume in Octopussy (1983) takes the cake...the ultimate dorkiest Bond moment!

Roger Moore’s clown costume in Octopussy (1983) takes the cake…the ultimate dorkiest Bond moment!

Timothy Dalton's "look" prior to fishing Franz Sanchez out of the sky in Licence To Kill (1989).

Timothy Dalton’s “look” prior to fishing Franz Sanchez out of the sky in Licence To Kill (1989).

Sorry James, but not even Pierce Brosnan in The World Is Not Enough (1999) can pull off purple glasses (even x-ray ones).

Sorry James, but not even Pierce Brosnan in The World Is Not Enough (1999) can pull off purple glasses (even x-ray ones).

Daniel Craig needed a shave and a shower as a hungover mess in Skyfall (2012)

Daniel Craig needed a shave and a shower as a hungover mess in Skyfall (2012)

Gareth Mallory (played by Ralph Fiennes) awkwardly stands after M leaves his office in Skyfall (2012)

I’m wearing suspenders.

Gareth Mallory (played by Ralph Fiennes) stands awkwardly after M leaves his office in Skyfall (2012)

Gareth Mallory (played by Ralph Fiennes) stands awkwardly after M leaves his office in Skyfall (2012)

Every James Bond Movie Title Animation

No Time To Die (2021)

Goldenrant #005: No Time To Die sucked

No Time To Die Theatrical Poster

To start things off, I called it two years ago: No Time To Die is going to suck

Fair warning – this review is full of spoilers and is interspersed with GIFs from previous Bond movies to convey my emotions and opinions.

Like most Bond fans, I was very excited to see No Time To Die. The two-plus year delay somewhat added to the hype but also annoyed me at the same time which was an odd feeling that I’ve never experienced for a new James Bond movie. Regardless, I saw it at the earliest possible showing.

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